Screen Name Exhumed From Graphite Graveyard

By Zelig X

Mar 11, 8:20 A.M. (PT)

Oakland, Ca. (AP) - The America Online (TWX) screen name “Joko Londo” was recently exhumed from The Graveyard of the Graphites shortly after the groundskeeper reported that the bell attached to the grave plot was heard to be “tinkling”. 

“It gave me quite a fright”, said Caretaker108 (33) Netizen, the Graphite Graveyard groundskeeper of nearly two years, “I always thought those bells were a superstitious lot of nonsense.  I never dreamed that one day I’d hear one.  But I did.  I was just movin the lawn sprinkler to the South Forty when I heard a ‘Tinkling’ that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand-up”.  

108 phoned Graveyard owner Zelig X (34) of Alameda Ca. who gave the go ahead to “Officially Exhume The Screen Name”.  A procedure, though reportedly rare, “Happens on occasion”, commented a visibly shaken Mr. X, “I’m a busy man, you know.   We don’t hear from a Graphite for a couple months, naturally we figure that Screen Name… ‘has moved on’ so we bury it in the Graveyard.  It’s nothing personnel, it’s just a way of remembering those Screen Names that have moved on.  That’s all.   Look, I offered Mr. Londo some pencils for his troubles.”

In response to Mr. X’s comment, a non-plussed Mr. Londo (33) of Oakland Ca., one of the Founding Father’s of Graphism, who was available for comments and drinks on Tuesday evening said, “I was not pleased when I learned that my screen name had been buried.  Who is this Zelig X, that he thinks he can decide who is alive or dead in the World of Graphism?  Pencils.  Zelig, I know where he lives and he knows what he can do with the pencils.” 

A flabbergasted Zelig X defended his actions citing that, “The Graveyard of the Graphites is a private not for profit venture meant to honor past Graphite Members and doesn’t necessarily mean that the owner of the Screen Name themselves is dead, but has merely moved on from that particular sect of Graphism.  (Nevertheless) This has been a lesson for us and in the future, we will have screen names autopsied and clinically proven removed from AOL’s database before adding them to the yard.”