The Cold Place

    This is a cold place. Everything is hard and cold, the walls, the floors, the look in that big man's eyes. That big mean man is really scary. He talks really quiet but I know he probably goes home and yells at his kids. His eye is funny; it won't look right at you. He probably yelled so hard he messed it up. Now he has to talk real quiet and whispery so it won't pop out. He smiles at me and my Mommy. He tries to act like he is a nice warm man, but he is as cold and hard as these veiny walls and floors.

    How come there are squiggly lines in the walls and floors anyway, how did they get in there? They are everywhere and very pretty. My shoes make clicky sounds on the floors because I got to wear my black shiny shoes today, with a strap on them. I could pretend I am a tap dancer. If Mommy would buy me real tap shoes I could really tap dance good. But not now. Now I have to show I can be all grown up and very quiet so I later on I will get a soda. I had to get all dressed up, and comb my hair, and even have hairspray put in it to hold it still, like Mommy's. Tommy doesn't get to come though, because he is too little and wild. He cries and runs around too much and kicks people with his hard shoes. Now he has to stay at the baby sitter's house, and he cried like a big baby cause I got to go and he didn't. Maybe I will share my soda with him later, so he won't cry all night.

    Nobody is paying any attention to me, they are having serious grown up talk and some people are very sad and crying. Grandma said never interrupt the grownups, wait until you are addressed. Well certainly no one is paying any attention to me here. I was being quiet, and I didn't run around screaming like my stupid cousins. They are big babies like Tommy. Mommy said this is a slumber occasion because it is a funeral. A funeral is when someone goes to sleep for a long long time, and then moves in with God in Heaven. Then they get to be angels and have wings and fly around in the clouds. But only if they are good. If they are bad they go to Hell and swim in a lake of fire forever. That is what the Sunday school teacher said. I think if people were swimming in fire they would get all burned up and drowned.

    We have been here forever. I am bored. I have to go to the bathroom. Hey! I wonder what is behind that curtain? Could be a bathroom. I could go and look but I have to walk past that dead guy sleeping in the coffin, who used to be Grandpa. What if he wakes up and tries to bite into me like in Night of the Living Dead? My Mommy probably couldn't even save me from that hell, not unless she has a shotgun and shoots him right between the eyes. Grandpa wouldn't bite me though. Besides, he can't even eat meat too good because his teeth all come out because they are false. It's so gross when he takes them out, it makes me want gag. One time Tommy took Grandpa's teeth from his night glass and put them in his mouth. He is so embarrassing.

    I really have to go to the bathroom. I think maybe I saw one when we walked through that big echoy hallway. There was a littler door back there, that looked like the bathroom. I am gonna go see.

    Hey, this isn't the bathroom! This room isn't even fancy like the other room. There are no beautiful pictures of Jesus-Christ-the-Savior, John-F- Kennedy or Martin-Luther-King in here. Those guys are all dead too, like Grandpa, except they were all killed in a great tragedy. Grandpa just didn't ever wake up. Maybe Grandpa is in heaven now, playing pinochle with them. I bet Grandpa wins, he is really good at pinochle. I hope he doesn't take his teeth out though and put them in a glass in front of God. That would be so embarrassing. Maybe in heaven Grandpa has his real teeth back. If God gives him wings to fly around, you would think he could have his real teeth too.

    What is in that giant basket over there? Hmmm, too big to see over the edge, but I bet I could reach inside of it and feel around. OOHH! What is that? It feels kinda round but long too! Maybe I can jump up and look inside.

    OH MY GOD!! It's arms and legs in there!!! They are the arms and legs of dead people!! They are all piled up high and gray and hard. Are they going to cut off Grandpa's arms and legs and put them in here too? How will he play pinochle without them? Why? Why do they cut people's arms and legs off? Is this what happens to people's meat when it is dead? It gets all hard and gray and plasticy looking? Grandpa didn't look plastic! Probably because they didn't cut his legs and arms off yet and poor his blood down the sink. I wonder what they do with the rest of him? I wonder if they put his sawed off head on a stick and put it outside the gates like in Mommy's book about the middle-aged? I hope they don't put Grandpa's head on a stick and put it outside our front gate. I would never leave the yard again (even though I am not supposed to anyway).

    "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?"

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! It is the really big mean man! He has come to chop me up and put my legs and arms in the basket! His eye is all red and ready to pop out, I think it is looking for the axe right now! His other eye is staring straight at me and I am too scared to move or talk! I AM NOT GOING TO PEE MY PANTIES!! I have to talk so I can escape before he finds that axe. "I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM. I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR THE BATHROOM, AND I CAME IN THIS ROOM, BECAUSE IT HAS A LITTLE DOOR LIKE FOR THE BATHROOM. I JUST FOUND ALL THESE CUT OFF ARMS AND LEGS!"

    "This is not the bathroom young lady, it is our supply room. I see you found the mannequin parts, those aren't real. We use them when needed for open casket ceremonies."

    Man-e-kin parts? What is a man-e kin anyway? What is open casket? Sounds all made up to me. Likely story Mr. Big Mean Poppy-Outty-Eyeball Man ! He is laughing and smiling at me. His big teeth are all yellow and some of them are very pointy, just like DOG teeth. OH MY GOD! He licked his lips! Maybe he is a werewolf-man! I saw a movie about that. The man sees the full moon, then his clothes start to rip off his body, and then his hair starts growing out of everywhere, then he chases after the people and bites into them!
"Let's go find your mother, and she can take you to the bathroom."

    He reaches his gigantic hairy hand to grab my neck and bite me. RUN! RUN FOR MY LIFE! Run real fast around him and out the door! I have got to find my Mommy! Where is she? I can hear her! There she is, standing by the front door holding my coat, calling my name!

    "Moooooooooomieeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Here I am, I have to go to the bathroom!"

    "Oh dear, can't you wait until we get home Sarah? We are leaving right now, and will be home in ten minutes."

    "YES! I CAN! I CAN WAIT, LET'S GO! NOW! BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!"

    "What is wrong with you, can you hold it or not?" Mommy doesn't understand what is happening here. She would never believe me if I told her. She would say I am just being silly.

    "I just have to go pee really bad, that is all, I wasn't doing anything wrong, I was just looking for the bathroom, and that man with the weird eye was going to get me. I can hold it Mommy until we get home, really!"

    "Sarah Marie Morgan, you are just being silly and rude, apologize to Mr. Johnson right now!"

    Mr. Johnson? Mr. Johnson is a werewolf-man Mommy, and he is standing their looking at me, waiting to cut off my legs and arms! "I am sorry Mr. Johnson, can we go now Mommy, PLEASE?" "Mr. Johnson is a werewolf-man." But she doesn't hear the last part because I whispered it so Mr. Johnson wouldn't hear me and know I that I know. You are never supposed to let monsters know that you know they are monsters, because then you can't trick them and run away.

    She apologizes to him, shaking his gigantic hairy wolf-man-hand. I fear for her! She doesn't know what danger we are in! Everyone else is gone, and we are all alone with that man! Grandma is waiting in the car, and Mommy is talking to the Mr. Johnson like he was just some regular every-day man. It is getting all dark, and the moon will be out soon.

    "Mommy! I have to go to the bathroom really bad, can we please go now?"

    "Sorry Mr. Johnson, she is just tired. Thanks again for everything, it was really a beautiful service. Come on Sarah, let's go." I look back over my shoulder to see if he is coming after us, but he is just standing there in the doorway with his eye glowing red, looking at me. His other eye searches the sky for the moon. I sure hope he doesn't know where we live.

    I better not tell Tommy about the basket of arms and legs, or about Mr. Johnson. Tommy is just a baby and he would definitely cry if I told him. I didn't cry because I am grown up, almost. When we get home, I am gonna lock all the doors and windows, and close all the curtains, and look under all the beds, and in all the closets, just to be sure. Then I will share my soda with Tommy. He is lucky he is so young, he doesn't even know what waits for us out there in the dark and in strange cold places. But I do.

(1.18.00)