What It Means To Be A Graphite
Joko Londo
In a message dated 5/8/98 4:04:35 PM, Hallmonotr wrote:
PLEASE REMEMBER:
AOL Parody Cults Are For Amusement Purposes Only.
What it means to be a Graphite
(If any of you have any problems with what is here, speak up.)
1. Humor - You need a sense of humor. If you've chosen to devote yourself to the worship of a stuffed bear, and assuming you are not just a pathetic loser who just needs a group to which to belong, this should be a given. Oh sure, we all have one, but can we remember to implement it in times of strife? What kind of sense of humor, you ask? FARTIRE... An appreciation of the elements of farce and satire mixed together in that oh so subtle yet inescapable way. Bears laugh with those who can laugh at themselves. If you can laught at yourself, others laughing at you should present no problem.
2. Acknowledgement - No one should call him or herself a Graphite who considers this "just another mailing list". We are special. Exactly how we are special is not just in our Squishy worship, but also in the content of the G-mail (thanks LaRoux for the new term). It should be evidant to anyone who participates in the group for any extended period of time. Keep the sanctity of content in mind before you click that "send" key. "The Graphites should be a place where one can feel free to post messages that are humorous (preferably original or at least satirical), artistic/cultural, thought-provoking or informative, pretty much on any subject, just so long as there is a sincere attempt to post something that might actually be found interesting by someone in the Cult." -Krok.
Sure, there have been innumerable groups similar to ours in the past, and an infinite number like ours yet to come. In the grand scheme of the universe, what happens here in this group will not likely have any cosmic significance on our common culture, but who knows? For those in the group, however, it should be a different story. Subjectively, Graphism should be your number one priority in your online life. That means you take this humor very seriously. Serious mirth is one of the oxymoronical bases of Graphism. Point being, we are an online community, and although many of us have been online for many years, and when things get tough, you may be tempted to quit due to the sense that "this isn't all that important", remember that we may be setting an example for online communities yet to come. I am writing a book about this whole thing, by the way.
3. Intelligence - I hope I don't come off too elitist in requesting this of Graphites. I am of the personal opinion that no one is stupid; it is only that some of us have yet to awaken the inquisitive, objective, thinking individual within us. I'm not talking about being opinionated here; anyone can be that, instead it is a matter of knowing whence your opinions come, and not just reacting in a knee jerk way.
4. Tolerance - As borrowed from another another satirical religion, one of the first tenets of Graphism was "Intolerance will not be Tolerated". This means any point of view, except one that flatly rejects all others, is acceptable. Remember the very first principle while exercising this freedom, i.e., humor.
5. Agoraphobia - All Graphites should have a fear of wide open spaces.
Yours in Graphism,
JokoLondo
Speaker of Squishy
The Cult of Squishy Bear of Latter Day Graphites